Researched Critical Analysis Essay
In the 19th century, women and men were not equal in society. Women were regarded as the inferior sex, whereas men were the superior sex. There were laws and social standards in the way women had to behave. They were not given the same opportunities as men, who were often given more privilege and power than women. Women in the 19th century were expected to hold more feminine traits – like being submissive, domestic, and weak. Men during this century were expected to abide by masculine traits – like being dominant, courageous, and independent. However, as shown in Tolstoy’s​ The Kreutzer Sonata​ and Turgenev ​Torrents of Spring,​ societal standards implemented by society affect the perception of women and this ideology can ultimately lead to the failure of a relationship because of the oppression of women in society.
Women were subjected to the characteristics of motherhood and purity, or innocence, throughout their lives. Susan M. Cruea states, “because being a True Woman was such an important responsibility, the ideal of True Womanhood was early imprinted upon young girls…Each was also taught to value her virginity “as the ‘pearl of great price’ which was her greatest asset” (188). This shows the maternal duties a woman had to follow in order to be seen as a “good” and “caring” mother. Kreutzer Sonata showed what happens when a mother steps away from her position as mother to focus on herself; she is seen as selfish and less caring. If a woman fails to maintain her innocence she would be seen as unfit to marry anyone. She also had to remain a virgin in order for her family to win over a wealthy husband because purity holds value for a woman. In ​Torrents of Spring,​ Gemma followed 19th century female standards.

According to Turgenev, “And Gemma above all! Queen…goddess…pure, virginal marble” (41). With this, the reader can assume that Gemma is “pure”. Therefore, she is used as a way for her family to overcome their financial situation even though Gemma is not fond of the idea after falling in love with Sanin. Turgenev states, “We can’t go on living on the takings of our shop, Herr Dimitri! and Herr Klüber is very rich, and will be richer still. And what is he to be refused for?” (33). Frau explains to Sanin that the family needs Gemma to marry Klüber even if they show no affection towards one another. As a man Kluber has the means to be able to financially support Gemma’s family, but it would be at a cost because she doesn’t love him. Though she would be stuck in a loveless marriage with Klüber, Gemma’s feelings are completely ignored until Sanin agrees to pay a beneficial stance of money to support her and her family in order to convince them of marriage. Remaining pure and innocent was the job women had to ensure for themselves in order to marry. This was not the same standard as a man.
In ​Kreutzer Sonata,​ Pozdnyshev, at a young age, was tormented by the idea of women. Tolstoy’s states, “already woman, not some particular woman but woman as something to be desired, women, every woman, women’s nudity, tormented me. My solitude was not pure” (170). This shows that men did not have to remain pure in order to marry. This in contrast to what women were expected to do. After this, Pozdnyshev went to look for a wife who would be pure, unlike him, which means that men were allowed to not remain pure or innocent and allowed for such actions. According to Tolstoy, “With that purpose I observed the girls suitable for that end…I withered in a mire of debauchery and at the same time was on the lookout for a girl pure enough to be worthy of me. I rejected many just because they were not pure enough to suit me, but at last I found one whom I would consider worthy.” (174). This statement further supports the idea that men were allowed to carry impure actions and thoughts, but a woman was

never allowed to express those behaviors. This brings about the misogyny, madonna/whore dichotomy that was created to distinguish the purity and idealism of a woman. A woman was not allowed to show any sexual desire but a man is able too. Therefore, a woman’s value is ultimately decided if she’s pure or marriageable enough for marriage, despite men not following the same regulations as them.
If a woman did not follow certain customs they would be shunned or experience punishment. In the ​Torrents of spring,​ Gemma broke off her engagement to Klüber. According to Turgenev, “Of disgrace of it, of its being something unheard of in the world for a girl to kilt her betrothed…only consider, even without this, they’ll talk in the town about your duel…it’s impossible to keep it a secret. And all of a sudden, the marriage broken off! It will be a scandal, a scandal!” (33). Frau begs Sanin to interfere with her daughter’s decision to call off the engagement, partly to save her from the gossip of the town. She understands that the situation Gemma is in – being caught in a love triangle with Sanin, her love, and Küber, her fiancé – would affect Gemma socially since it is uncommon and looked down upon for women to have two love interests. A woman is supposed to pursue a man only one at a time and Gemma isn’t allowed to be in a relationship while she’s promised to another man, even if she was in love. Gemma was also expected to be submissive towards her fiancé but it caused her to become disinterested in him. According to Turgenev, “She was quiet and simple in her manner, but rather more reserved and serious than usual; he had the air of a condescending schoolmaster permitting himself and those under his authority…her soul seemed to have withdrawn into herself” (17). When Gemma Fiance was around she acted very distant and made sure she acted appropriately to the mannerisms of a loving partner. She wanted to respect his authority without drawing herself too much attention. The text also states, “while Herr Klüber, yielding condescendly to “the caprice

of his betrothed,” went off to interview the head waiter, Gemma stood immovable, biting her lips and looking at the ground;” (18) This shows Gemma was very upset that Klüber chose not to defend her after the incident with the officer. Although she found this very embarrassing, she decided to remain silent. She understands that in a relationship men are the ones who are controlling and she’s only allowed to agree with her fiancé’s actions. According to Marks, Bun, and McHale, “Studies based on nationally representative samples of U.S. couples found that husbands hold more traditional gender role attitudes than their wives. This is not surprising, given that concepts of male privilege and dominance are inherent in traditional views of gender roles” (3). Klüber, being the fiancé of Gemma, expects her to uphold the expectations of a 19th century wife. She stays silent because it is what is expected of her when comforting her husband about her views. This evidence presents that men tend to stick to gender roles because it was seen as something that is needed in order to uphold their dominance in society. Men fear the ability for a woman to have power over them.
In ​Kreutzer Sonata​, The old man also adds to the idea that in a marriage the wife had to fear her husband. Tolstoy states, “The first thing that should be required of a woman is fear.. Fear of what? Asked the lady. Why let her fear her husband! That fear” (163). When a woman gets married to her husband she is expected to please him and to follow his demands or face the wrath of her husband. This assumption of a woman affects the treatment and underlying violence women at the time faced. According to Rosslyn, Wendy, and Alessandra, “They could be punished by their husbands for the slightest disobedience, they could be regularly abused by their husbands, family members, and they could be raped by their fathers-in-law with the participation of their husbands. Yet it was extremely difficult for these women to find justice” (210). This means that violence and aggression towards women were normalized in order to convince

society that it’s effective to punish women for not being submissive to men. This part of the chapter adds to the relevancy of how the suppression of women is deemed important because women in the 19th century were more likely to face violence, aggression, and abuse from any male figure. According to the text, “In the wake of the ‘women question’, intellectuals, statesmen, scholars and lawyers. While examine the legal and social status of women in Russian society, portrayed a horrifying picture violence against women, employed by men to keep their wives and daughter in absolute subjection” (220). This shares the same emphasis that women experience extreme forms of punishment as a result of their disobedience. ​Kreutzer Sonata​ also presents the idea that women shouldn’t be free to do what they want because The Old Man states, “yes the female sex must be curbed at all time or else all is lost!” (163). This shows how he believes that women’s actions should be condemned at all times to ensure she “stays in line”. According to Rosslyn, Wendy, and Alessandra,“the very presence of unattended-unowned- women constituted a threat both to male power and a temptation to male frailty” (22). This means that men feared the power of women because, in society, men were often the superior sex, therefore they would be allowed more freedom. Men during this time feared a woman that was unmarried or left “unchecked” in the presence of a male authority because this sense of independence gave women too much power.
Women were also seen as leaky vessels. In ​Kreutzer Sonata​, Pozdnyshev fears that his wife would commit adultery because of her appearance. Tolstoy states, “she gave less attention to the children and less frienziedly than before, but gave more and more attention to herself, to her appearances (though she tried to conceal this), and to her pleasures, even accomplishments” (207). It shows his fear that his wife is starting to care about the way she looks. He’s starting to be skeptical about her change in behavior. After she decides to take up music lessons, she spends

time with her teacher. This causes Pozdnyshev’s breaking point even though he has never approached her about it. Tolstoy states, “Again I felt that need of destruction, violence, and a transport of rage, and yielded to it…Come to yourself! What are you doing? What is the matter? There has been nothing, nothing…I struck her with all my might with the dagger in the side below the ribs” (237-238). Pozdnyshev was so enraged that he murders his wife for committing adultery without proof or evidence. Tolstoy states, “Even if we should grant that a man might prefer a certain woman all his life, the woman in all probability would prefer someone else, and so it always has been and still is in the world” (166). This shows that they believed women would be “out of line” if they committed adultery and it was treated as a serious issue. This however, was not the same with men because later The Old Man denounced the lady for making the claims if it was a man committing adultery. In the ​Torrents of Spring​, Sanin blames Maria for his actions on committing adultery when he was promised to Gemma. According to Turgenev, “At times Sanin felt positively it rated; he had never walked so long with Gemma, his darling Gemma…but this lady had simply taken possession of him, and there was no escape!” (63). This shows the fears that men have about women. Sanin was used to being the one who is dominant and having the women be submissive and follow his lead however in this situation Maria is the one who is controlling him with the way she pursues him. Sanins plan was to entertain her for a better price of his estate. Turgenev states, “Sanin was inwardly delighted indeed at this freak on the part of Madame Polozov; if he thought, she is anxious to impress me, to dazzle me, perhaps who knows, she will be accompanied about the price of the estate” (57). This shows how he had knowledge of how she presented herself and wanted to toy with her emotions in order to use her as a means to get money. This also shows that Sanin is responsible for his actions despite the

reason to want to blame Maria because he doesn’t do much to stop it the relationship from furthering and has already prepared to approach her in this manner.
In conclusion, women deserve to have equality. Women have long suffered from the oppression of men and society. Gender roles are the cause of many problems in relationships – not just in the writings of fiction, but in society as well. Nowadays, for most relationships, it has become less about gender roles and more about how to support each other through the relationship. Take for instance a situation in which both the man and women work to financially support the family that they have together. The man is no longer the only person in this relationship to pull their weight. A woman can be independent without needing to marry a man of wealth. However, even with this, there are still challenges that we still face with reaching gender equality. Gender roles cause the oppression of an individual in relationships because they are dictated or told what they can or cannot do.

Works cited
Cruea, Susan M., Changing Ideals of Womanhood During the Nineteenth-Century Woman Movement, 2005. University Writing Program Faculty Publications. 1.
Marks, Jaime et al. “Family Patterns of Gender Role Attitudes.” Sex roles vol. 61,3-4 (2009): 221-234. doi:10.1007/s11199-009-9619-3
Tolstoy, Leo. The Kreutzer Sonata. Greenwich, Conn: Fawcett Publications, 1961. Print.
Turgenev, Ivan Sergeevich, 1818-1883, and Constance Garnett. The Torrents of Spring. New York: Macmillan, 1897.
Rosslyn, Wendy, and Alessandra Tosi, editors. Women in Nineteenth-Century Russia: Lives and Culture. 1st ed., Open Book Publishers, 2012. JSTOR

Brain in Love Response Essay

Psychologist Benedict Carey studies human behaviors. In “Brain in Love” he proposed his theory on love. Carey believes there’s a biological factor that causes our drive for love, and why we focus on one person and long relationships. Carey presents scientific evidence to prove love has a biological effect on the brain. He supports this claim by referring to studies like Helen Fisher, Ellen Berscheid, and Pamela Regan, in which scientists conducted MRI scans on the early stages of love to show how the brain’s activity reacts to loved ones. These studies showed that the brain develops a high concentration of dopamine. 

When explaining why we tend to focus on one particular person, Fisher stated, “your brain is registering this attraction for each one; then you talk to the third or fourth one, and whoosh – you feel something else” (401). I agree with Fisher because we are intrigued by the idea of finding the one someone who is “special” and stands out from the rest – making us attracted to that person. Pechorin states “Women love only those whom they don’t know” (9). Mary fell in love with Pechorin because he stood out since he was new and she had not seen him before. She was usually surrounded by many suitors looking to marry her, but she grew interested in Pechorin because he was constantly avoiding her – only doing things to deliberately connect himself with her in some way. At the start of the story, Pirogov and Piskarev both found women that they were attracted to. They both chased after them because they believed the women were ideal and fit into what they want in a wife. (251). These two situations explain how our brain is driven to find a significant other.

Fisher explains the side effects of how a person feels when they are in love. She stated, “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention, and exquisite delight in the smallest details of this novel relationship” (401). I agree because falling in love with someone can make you take away your necessary needs and not think about your well-being. It takes a toll on the person since they’re constantly thinking about the lover. A person usually experiences symptoms of being in love due to the effect of the brain producing dopamine and euphoria. Piskarev starts to fall in love with a woman and he begins to only want to dream about her. When he doesn’t, he loses his sense of reality. He refuses to eat and his life is much boring and meaningless (262). Mary falls in love with Pechorin and she begins to experience the symptoms of “lovesickness”. She gets nervous breakdowns and develops a fever at the end (159). 

Psychologists have conducted studies to show that new couples usually tend to idealize their partners and tend to rationalize their flaws. This is called the “Pink lens effect”. Regan explains, “yet some idealization may be crucial to building a longer-term relationship…if you don’t sweep away the person’s flaws to some extent, then you’re just as likely to end a relationship or not even try” (402). I disagree that we need to idealize our partner in order to be happy in the relationship because it can lead to a Mania type of love and manipulation. Pisakarev described The Woman as a Virgin Mary – she brought purpose to his life but once he found out she was a prostitute, he couldn’t bear the news; causing him painful anguish  He had idolized his depiction of the woman In his dream instead of the real her (265). Pechorin likes women because he wants power over them. He likes to torment Mary and Vera by constantly misleading his intentions and antagonizing them. He knows the power he has over them because he likes that women are submissive and that they admire him (123). This shows that idealizing a person isn’t always beneficial to the relationship. 

Regan suggests “the highs don’t last, but neither does the withdrawal. With time, the craving and pain go away and the brain return to normal” (403). I disagree with this because it’s hard for people to get over someone or to deal with heartbreak and rejection. They could still have feelings for them or led them to depression. Piskarev felt embarrassed after the women declined his affection and marriage proposal. He became depressed and, eventually, he committed suicide (266). On the other hand, Vera still has feelings for Pechorin even after they break up. This proves that he still holds something special for her and that she’s never gotten over him (113).

   In Conclusion, I agree with Carrey’s beliefs that there is a biological factor that allows us to feel certain things when we are in love. It plays a role in how we think or do when we are in love. People react differently to the effects of love so there won’t always be a positive or negative prediction on how your relationship will be affected. 

Persuasive/Argumentative Essay

   In recent years, romantic novels have grown in popularity – helping to spark a new wave of romantic movies and literature. Some of the most popular ones being The Notebook, Romeo and Juliet, and Titanic. Many of us remember these movies capturing an entertaining story of a “once in a lifetime” love, something we all desire to have. In recent discussions of romantic novels, a controversial issue has been whether these depictions can affect a person’s outlook on love. On one side of the argument, some say that it can affect someone’s perception of love because a person could be led to believe they are in love when in fact it’s fabricated by a fantasy. However, on the other hand, others argue that a person could still fall “hopelessly” in love with another regardless of whether they read novels – therefore they are still experiencing love and affection for them. My view is that one can only fall in love with another person because they are led to believe in the depictions of love in novels. Many are led to believe that love is shown through heroism, finding the “special one”, and lastly that love is sequential but this idea only hurts relationships. 

     Women in the 19th-century soldiers were often celebrated for their contribution to the war and this was also shown through literature. Men were always seen as the heroes in stories and women were the damsels in distress. The appearance of Burman with his war medals was brought to the attention of Marya. According to the text, “But all of them had to withdraw when the wounded Colonel Burman of the Hussars, with the order of St George in his buttonhole and with an “interesting pallor” as the young ladies of the locality put it, appeared at the minor-house..she singled him for special attention” (28). Burman stood out to the women because he was seen as a hero who won in battle. This made him special to Marya since her idea of a good love story starts with a hero. According to Pechorin “Her daughter listened with curiosity. In her imagination, you became the hero of a novel in the latest fashion” (93). This shows how Princess Mary compares Pechorin to her hero like the ones she has read. It deepens her interest in him because she applies her ideas to him. She builds him up as her hero in her story. Pechorin maneuvered the social conventions to save her from the situation by telling the drunken man that she is dancing with him. He knows what was going to happen if she refused then she would risk social suicide and if she accepted the dance she was going to humiliate herself in front of everyone. Pechorin realized that the only way for her to refuse a dance request is if she was dancing with another person. This changed her views on him because at first, she disliked him but now she views him as her savior. Mary is grateful that he was there to save her from the situation.

      Princess Mary and Marya are intrigued by the idea of finding someone who is “special” and stands out from the rest. Pechorin states “Women love only those whom they don’t know” (9). Mary fell in love with Pechorin because he stood out since he was new and she had not seen him before. She was usually surrounded by many suitors looking to marry her, but she grew interested in Pechorin because he was constantly avoiding her – only doing things to deliberately connect himself with her in some way. Pushkin states, “She was considered a wealthy match and many intended her for themselves or their sons. Marya Gavrilovna was brought up on French novels, and consequently was in love” (20). This meant, Marya grew up reading about romance and love becoming infatuated with the idea of it. The betrayal of romance in these french novels is displayed as something similar to Marya’s relationship and love for Vladimir. She chose him because the other suitors weren’t as interesting since they were perfect choices for her, but Vladimir was poor and had no rank. Therefore, she would make up a forbidden love story of her own. Both of these characters implement the protagonist found in these novels because they always fall in love with a person who stands out. 

      In the romantic novels that are idolized by Princess Mary and Marya love is shown to be sequential but they soon realize that real love is not comparable to that. According to the text, “So why was it that, as yet, she had not seen him at her feet and heard him declare his love? What was holding him back? Timidly, inseparable from true love, or the flirtatious of a cunning philanderer?… She prepared the most surprising denouncement and impatiently awaited the moment of romantic declaration” (29). Marya had started questioning what she was doing wrong and why he hasn’t yet fallen in love with her. This may have confused Marya because romance plays out differently in romantic novels – it brings out the idea of “love at first sight” in both partners. She was waiting for him to say that he is in love with her so she would marry him. This is seen as her getting impatient and waiting for the situation to turn into what she was hoping for. The text states, “You are silent? she went on. Perhaps you wish me to be the first to say that I love you. I was silent. Do you wish it? she went on, quickly running toward me. In the determination of her gaze and voice, therefore was something frightening” (132). Princess Mary was getting upset at Pechorin for not professing his love for her. It fuels her anger because of the way Pechorin stays silent which contributes to her dissatisfaction. As the story progressed, both female characters desperately longed and waited for a romantic story of their own, they never really got one.

     Others will argue that a person could fall “hopelessly” in love with someone else regardless of whether they read novels because they are still experiencing love and affection for the other person – as in the cases of Princess Mary and Marya. However, closely examining this piece as a reader, it should be argued that both cases are not examples of genuine relationships. Marya’s love for Vladimir was not genuine because she used him to portray the ideal forbidden love romance story like the ones in her french novels. When Vladimir stated, “Since we cannot live without each other and the will of our hard-hearted parents is barring out happiness, then why can we not ignore it” (21). It allowed for Marya’s imagination about love to tie in with their relationship. It was built on her fantasy she was longing to have and, in a way, this relationship was her idea of love, but not genuine love. Pechorin wrote, “I will tell you the whole truth, “I replied to the young princess, “I won’t justify, nor will I explain my actions. I don’t love you…Her lips paled slightly… Leave me alone, she said, only distinguished. I shrugged my shoulders, turned, and walked off” (140). He made her believe that he loved her even if he’s never admitted it. This means that a person could fall in love even if the feelings aren’t mutual. For instance, Mary is heartbroken over the fact that she fell in love but Pechorin doesn’t love her back. She was led to believe in a type of love that she had visualized in their relationships from the novels and it caused the relationship to fail. 

     In conclusion, when people try to emulate romance from books and movies they get an unachievable, unattainable love and relationship because they will end up trying hard to find something in the relationship that won’t exactly be there. The person won’t get the type of love that they want and the media, in this case, the romantic novels, set an unrealistic standard for what love is. The relationship that is being portrayed is nothing compared to how real-life relationships work. It’s not accurate in its depiction of how a relationship can become complicated – in the movies or books there’s always a resolution to the conflict and the couple always gets their “happy ending”. It does affect a relationship and a person because it makes them associate love with characteristics set by the media, which can cause the relationship not to work out.

The Diagnostic/Literacy Narrative Essay

New York is a complex place. A place that is often described by people as a city of countless dreams and hopes. A city here the toughest, rude, or riskiest of people live. Zadie Smith once said, “New Yorkers choose to gather under the banner that says New York -which is so elastic it really means nothing at all” (pg. 4). To me, this means that New York has no definite experience. Being a New Yorker does not change the fact that people have different views of the city.  It is a place where you can make it your own. So, what does New York City mean to others? What does New York City mean to me?

For my parents, that answer would be opportunities and new beginnings. My parents came to New York about 25 years ago. Since they are not originally from the United States, they did not know what to expect. New York at that time signified hope to the new community of immigrants, as it had been for a long time. My parents took advantage of this. They managed to find jobs, and start a new way of life. Today, my family and I still live in the same apartment which my parents have been renting for more than 25 years. “Goodbye to All” stated, “New York is also, at least for those of us who came there from somewhere else, a city for only the very young” (Joan Didion, 227). For the most part, New York City has not changed, but my parents have. New York does not echo the same as it used to for them. With my parents getting older, they often talk of a simpler, peaceful life outside of the city. Yet, we are still here with no plans of moving anytime soon.  While I could understand why my parents would want to move out of the City, I don’t know my reasons for staying.

For a while, the city consumed me and it still does but it got to a point where I was unhappy. The city is fast-paced, and you start to lose track of time. “Goodbye to All” states that “six months can become eight years with the deceptive ease of a film dissolve” (Joan Didion, 227). For me, almost every day was a structure. I felt obligated to do the same routine. It was to wake up at a certain time, do certain things, and it would be an endless cycle of work until you repeat those steps again. It was always a different day, but it all felt the same. It also doesn’t help with the fact that I live in the same apartment I grew up in. “Goodbye to All that,” stated “Everything that was said to me I seemed to have heard before, and I could no longer listen…I had already met them, always. There were certain parts of the city which I had to avoid” (pg. 236). Having been born, raised, and still residing in the same Upper Manhattan neighborhood, you start to see the same people. The people never change and the same conversations were always said. Nothing would ever change. Because my parents have lived in the neighborhood for so long, they know everything about everyone. 

Attempting to find a way to change the routine in my life, an idea sparked when I was 16 wanting to get a job. At the time, I did not have any working experience, so I didn’t know how I was going to get a job. I imagined how it was for my parents. In a way, I wanted to prove to them that I could do it myself, just like they had done when they arrived in this country. “Goodbye to All” states that “I never told my father that I needed money because then he would have sent it, and I would never know if I could do it myself” (Joan Didion, 229). I eventually managed to get a job working in retail. It was not easy. The first days were the hardest. I felt immense guilt if I chose to quit because I wanted the city to feel like it did for my parents when they came – a chance for independence and opportunity. I wanted to be able to earn my success – I didn’t have to rely on my parents for money because I was finally earning for myself. Part of me felt better about the city but I was still left with the questions of why I felt compelled to stay. It wasn’t until family members from out-of-state came to visit, that I got my answer.

My family from Texas had visited New York once for Christmas. They had invited us to go on trips around the city. I was excited because I had not seen them for a long time. My excitement soon turned to annoyance on the fact we had to visit parts of the city I hated. “Goodbye to All” stated that “There were certain parts of the city which I had to avoid” (Joan Didion, 236). I didn’t like being in the parts of the city that most tourists would visit. Especially during the holidays, since that is the time of year in which tourist areas tend to be the most crowded and busiest. We went to the Rockefeller Center to see the Christmas tree, then headed to Times Square to finish the night off. We walked for hours with my feet sore. Eventually, all we got from that day was a terrible picture that captured an obscured view of the Christmas tree. For my family visiting, New York is the city of dreams. It is a fantasy for people who aren’t from here, especially people from small towns. New York is a dream that isn’t meant for those who actually want to live here. It is for those who want to be amazed by the city but are built upon a fantasy of this place. 

Before my family members went back to Texas, they invited us to visit for the summer. Mostly because of my cousin’s party that they were going to throw for her 15th birthday. I decided to go mainly to leave the city as a way of vacation. This trip was the farthest I had ever left from New York. For the first couple of days, It felt good to be in an environment that felt calm, tranquil, and peaceful. There would be a couple of times where I would remember New York and I would imagine how it was even though I was away. What would people be doing right now? I found myself talking to my sister about the things we would be doing if we were back in New York. “Misspent Youth” states “When I was growing up in northern New Jersey, just twenty-five miles away from Manhattan, I had no concept that actual people could live in such places” (Meghan Daum, 1). For me,  I couldn’t imagine living in the Suburbs and feeling isolated. No corner-store bodegas, crowded streets, stores in every corner. I felt trapped and less independent than I had been in New York. I couldn’t drive and no one walked to go places, so it meant I had to spend days stuck inside the house. I wasn’t sure if that is how I would want to be. I enjoyed spending time with my family but it leaves me with the question of what would I be without the city? I didn’t like how it felt being secluded from it. I had missed New York. I liked being in Texas or being anywhere outside the city, but it wasn’t until I was far and would be gone for a while that I had realized what the city meant to me. 

All in all, To me, New York City means home, new and endless possibilities. A city of discovery and adventure. During my childhood, most of the schools I attended were around the neighborhood. That was until I attended high school in downtown Manhattan. For the first time, I was meeting people that grew up in different neighborhoods and boroughs. I met my friends who were from Brooklyn and Queens, places that I have only visitéis a handful of times. We would go out to see new places and it was then I realized how much of the city I haven’t seen. New York is a place where I could find my community of people that know who I am and can understand me. “My Misspent Youth” stated, “Our neighborhood was a place for people who knew the city, for the people from the city…the residents of this neighborhood seem to give off a feeling of being very deeply rooted into the ground” (Meghan Daum, 10). I grew up in a predominantly Latino neighborhood in uptown Manhattan. The people here are first-generation immigrants or first-generation Americans. It’s a community where we all know each other struggles with what it took to come here or understand our troubles navigating the city once we are here. For me, being a first-generation American growing up in New York, I still don’t know my role in the city. My parents gave me their definition of New York and passed it along to me, giving me a chance to choose the path I want to take in life. I know I have endless possibilities on where I can go and do. New York makes me feel optimistic about my future and it’s always going to be part of me.

My name is Lizzette Balbuena Garcia. I’m 18 years old and a student at City College of New York. I hope to accomplish better reading and writing skills in order to reach my potential. I also have an interest in psychology because I like to learn about the human mind and how it affects our behavior so we could further our knowledge and understanding of others.

Welcome to CUNY Academic Commons. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!